Tuesday, July 13, 2010

You Might Get Punched

Here is a list of the things dumb people say to pregnant women that merit a swift punch in the jaw.

1. "Wow, you're huge!"

-Seriously? You think I don't already know that?

2. "Epidurals are so dangerous, you had better not get any medicine during labor. In fact, you should have your baby at home because hospitals can be dangerous."

-I bet there are many things that I could point out about you that are not healthy but is it my place to tell you about this? Nope, so I will keep my mouth shut. You should too.

3. "Are you sure there aren't twins in there?"

-Yep, I'm pretty sure.

4. "Can I see your belly?"

-Under no circumstances will I lift up my shirt and allow you to look at my bare baby home. Well, unless you are Dr. Smith.

5. "Oh, you're gonna need a c-section."

-I literally had a stranger tell me that today because I'm too petite to have a baby the normal way. No thank you, I'd rather not have major surgery unless I really need it.

6. "Wow, September is a long way off and you're gonna be SO hot in the summer!"

-I could probably wring a quarter cup of sweat from the pits of my shirt right now. I'm aware of the heat.

7. "Have you had that baby yet?"


Friends, please do not ever say these things to a pregnant woman. We already feel giant, and hot; there is no need to remind us of our current state.

Feel free to add your own!


Chrissy Galloway said...

OMG I love you!!! This just made me laugh!

coffeygirlb said...

Haha, #4 is my favorite! Why do I totally picture these things going down at wal-mart? Each one of them, I totally pictured happening there...I am weird. And I love you, you make me happy:)

Steph W said...

Monica, you are toooooo funny. This is a good list! I feel like it needs to be printed in a magazine or a newspaper for all to read for public etiquette or something.

Kristina said...

I've heard it all too. I think we are very aware of our current situation. Geez, people!

Sandy Krout said...

i think you are one of the most beautiful pregnant ladies ever!!

The Galloways party of 4 said...

I literally had a woman yell out in the middle of a mall, "Someone get her to the hospital she is about to pop!" I still had two months left in my pregnancy. Or a young teenage girl looked at me once and said, "O my gosh, I never want to get pregnant." Yeah I say a swift punch in the jaw is merited.

Haley Galloway said...

HAHA. This is so funny. I'm tall and just started showing not too long ago and most people say "Are you sure you're eating enough? Make sure you eat so your baby grows. She's going to be a small baby." And I fight the urge to hamma fist them every time. Or how about "I don't know why women do this to themselves." That one makes me want to power bomb a fool too.

Carol Jayne said...

I know it's bad to get those comments when you're pregnant, but how about when you're NOT pregnant and your last child was born 20 years ago!!! There's a deaf lady in Ft. Smith, named Kathy, who asks me if I'm pregnant every time she sees me! It's not nice to punch a deaf person.

Debbie said...

My first baby was born Sept. 15, so I know how you feel about now. And you're not huge. :)